After months of fear and hesitation, the Titkov family, who fled Ukraine to Vienna shortly after Russia invaded, have finally decided to stay.

Her three boys – Danylo, nine, Denys, 11, and Dmitry, 15 – started the new school year there this week, another milestone in their new life in the Austrian capital.

Although they were “a bit stressed” with their German, they wrote little messages about the gifts for their teachers. At home in Ukraine they would have brought them flowers.

Mother Irina, 39, wore her traditional Ukrainian “gerdan” necklace for the occasion, knowing that school is the first step towards integration.

AFP follows the refugee family from Irpin, one of the Kyiv suburbs, who endured the worst fighting in the first weeks of the war, during the first year of their new life in a country where a quarter of the population are immigrants.

After six months of uncertainty, little Danylo went to school like a fish to water. He lists all the pens and stationery he needs in German lessons.

But his eldest brother would rather hang out with his Ukrainian friends than throw himself into school.

Concerned – and doing her best to make her boys finally feel at home – Irina meets with the principal to discuss how they can help Dmitry.

The family has just moved into a lovely 2-room apartment overlooking a leafy courtyard in a residential area half an hour from the center of Vienna.

Irina Titkova welcomed AFP to her new home with delicious Ukrainian dumplings and Vareniki ravioli, served with a steaming borsch soup.

It’s a great relief to finally have your own place to live and not have to depend on the goodwill of others.

Until then, the five of them shared a room in an apartment that they had found through friends of friends.

“After three months of daily searching, I got a call from the (Protestant) Diakonie,” said Irina, they had found an apartment.

“It was a miracle on my birthday!”

Your teenager now has a room to play the guitar in. The younger boys – both energetic – have bunk beds. There is a hammock on the balcony that invites you to dream of better days. And all this for a rent of 400 euros per month.

“It gives us a sense of comfort,” Irina said with a smile.

Starting from scratch is not easy, especially when you have left your home, family, job and status behind.

The former English teacher now works at the cash register of an American fast food restaurant. Her husband Valerii, who is a physiotherapist at home, also works in the storage room there.

“It’s tough … but it’s money and I can make it, and it’s not a donation. Maybe I’m too proud, but I think we have to be useful to society.”

The Titkovs want to “feel equal… and not just like refugees.”

The family happened to end up in Vienna because Irina went there on a school trip during her teaching time.

“I remember how beautiful and multicultural it was. Vienna impressed me.”

But in June, the Titkovs almost returned to Ukraine. As Irina heard about friends who had been killed, about war crimes, and about those who stayed behind to fight, Irina was wracked with guilt at not being able to help.

Then fighting intensified again and the family — one of seven million people displaced by the invasion, according to the United Nations — had concerns about returning.

“Maybe it’s (our) destiny to be here and the chance to explore another culture,” Irina said.

“Of course it hurts me when I see soldiers having to fight,” says Valerii, who is of athletic build. “But frankly, I’m incapable of going to war. I couldn’t kill a fly.”

A father of three, he is one of the very few men of military age allowed to leave the Ukrainian military and escape conscription.

It is the second time the Russian speaker has been uprooted by war, having left Azerbaijan aged 13 for Kyiv amid a post-Soviet conflict with neighboring Armenia.

But for now, the family is focused on the future and managing these back-to-school butterflies.

Because at the end of the month, both parents will return to school themselves to start a German course…