North Carolina Divorce Attorneys Discusss Nine Signs of Impending Separation and Divorce

/// 01/31/2011

Raleigh North Carolina divorce attorneys discuss common attributes of relationships that are nearing their end.

The lawyers of Gailor, Wallis & Hunt are considered one of North Carolina’s most accomplished family law firms practicing exclusively in the area of family law and domestic relations litigation. Collectively, the Gailor, Wallis & Hunt attorneys have practiced more than 80 years and are well aware of the multiple difficulties that accompany divorce, on both an emotional and legal level. While the firm’s lawyers are noted for the prosecution and defense of complex business cases and tough custody disputes, they are also known for the caring service they provide to their clients who are in substantial distress. As a family law firm that wants to help its clients and others through the legal issues involved prior to and during marriage as well as separation and divorce, the firm provides its experience and skill as well as information to help individuals understand the legal issues in these stages of life and how to solve the problems that accompany them, whether it is pre-marital, post marital, separation or divorce. In the hopes of helping those who may be concerned about the possibility of separation and divorce, Gailor, Wallis & Hunt offers the following information that discusses signs that are indicative of the end of a marriage or committed relationship. The information is sourced from an article published on MSN, “12 Signs You’re Headed for Divorce.” 

The following signs represent a deteriorating relationship:

There is a Time Line:

As soon as one spouse acknowledges and states the couple’s problems, the countdown towards the end of a marriage begins. The more time that passes after the issue is out in the open increases the possibility of dissolution says Bryce Kaye, Ph.D., author of The Marriage First Aid Kit. If the second party does not respond, the odds of the marriage surviving decrease.

There is a Disconnect:

Couples whose marriages are nearing the end typically uncouple, or disconnect from each other. Both parties stop spending time together. Elayne Savage Ph.D., author of Breathing Room: Creating Space to Be a Couple says: If it feels like a relief when you are not with your partner or spouse, you have already disengaged from the relationship.

The Issues Causing Conflict Go Unresolved

According to Alisa Bowman, author of Project: Happily Ever After, “If one spouse repeatedly brings attention to an issue, asks for a discussion and makes it clear the relationship will not last unless there is a resolution to the problem, the marriage will not last unless the couple commits to resolving it. If the other partner does not agree to the terms, the marriage faces low odds of succeeding. One partner can’t do all the trying on his or her own,” says Bowman. “You can’t go anywhere like that.” A good rule of thumb: If it’s been a year with no progress, it may be time to call it quits.

There is a Lack of Respect

One of the most important aspects of a healthy relationship is respect for one another. If one partner consistently feels dismissed, overlooked or rejected, then the relationship is “toxic” says Savage.

There is no Teamwork

Savage also says that when a relationship begins to deteriorate, both parties begin to head in separate directions rather than working together to meet joint goals. If you are no longer working together on issues such as career ambitions, personal goals and parenting, the odds of your marriage surviving will decrease.

There Is No Compromise

A major part of a productive marriage involves each party trying to fulfill the other party’s needs, while also ensuring their own needs are met. If one partner continually refuses to listen to the other’s needs, or compromise so both parties needs can be met the relationship will struggle.

There Is Infidelity by One Or Both Spouses

If infidelity occurs in the marriage, trust between the partners will be destroyed and the relationship or marriage will be severely damaged. The unfaithful spouse must commit to no longer have contact with the person with whom the affair occurred, to not repeat the behavior, to be completely honest with his or her spouse and work to regain his or her trust. If the spouse is a serial cheater or blames the other spouse for his or her adultery then the infidelity is very difficult to overcome and typically results in separation and divorce.

You Disagree on Having Kids

At the end of the day, if one spouse wants children and the other does not, it will be difficult for the relationship to survive. If having children is a definite goal of yours, and your partner is adamantly opposed, you may be looking at the end of your marriage says Kaye.

Lack of Communication

If you are not in a relationship where conversations about personal, intimate and serious issues occur, the couple may not be fulfilling each other’s needs. Open and honest communication is necessary to fulfilling a healthy relationship. If the only conversation that takes place between you and your spouse or partner is about the mundane aspects of life then the marriage is most likely in trouble.

If one or more of these situations are affecting your marriage or committed relationship and you believe you may be headed for separation and/or divorce, it is important to seek counsel from an attorney experienced in family law including separation and divorce.

The family lawyers of Gailor, Wallis and Hunt help people work through the emotional and financial entanglements that occur when a marriage or committed relationship does not succeed. With more than 80 years of combined experience, they offer highly competent and dedicated representation in the following matters; mediation, arbitration, separation and property settlement agreements, divorce, alimony and child support and equitable distribution of property. For a confidential and personal review of your case, contact Gailor, Wallis & Hunt.

Gailor, Wallis & Hunt

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